[urgent]. How to get rid of a bridesmaid.

[Charlotte91]

DP asked her to be in it. I didn't really want her in it. (SIL).

She's being a mole all over FB about me, reporting my status updates to MIL who then rings up and abuses DP about them.

How do I *nicely* get rid of her?

Wedding is in a few weeks, this needs to happen ASAP.

Thanks.

[Catastrophic]

You tell DP to deal with it...
he then rings up SIL and tells her to bugger off outta the wedding party.
Discussion closed.

[Charlotte91]

He can't!! He's too soft!! I'm freaking out.

[LimeSlice]

*Pick up phone
*Dial SIL phone number
*Say hello, but do not enter into small talk
*"SIL, I am not very sad to have to say this, but I do not wish to have you standing up beside me on my wedding day. I don't feel you are a friend to me and so I will not have you in my wedding party. Thank you, but your services are no longer required. Good night."
*Replace reciver
*Pour glass of wine.

[Amity]

*Pick up phone
*Dial SIL phone number
*Say hello, but do not enter into small talk
*"SIL, I am not very sad to have to say this, but I do not wish to have you standing up beside me on my wedding day. I don't feel you are a friend to me and so I will not have you in my wedding party. Thank you, but your services are no longer required. Good night."
*Replace reciver
*Pour glass of wine.

I'd only add - *pour glass of wine first and drink.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

I agree with Limeslice and Divvy. But don't get too beswipst before calling.

Or you could always text her from your DF's phone, with his knowledge. Or respond to facebook with "and you really think I'd want you as a bridesmaid after that? That's right, I don't." (Actually, just un-friend her on facebook and save your sanity.)

As you didn't ask her, you could always just not get her a dress/outfit, not tell her when the rehersals are and act all surprised when she thinks she's a bridesmaid. My mum asked some of my cousins to be bridesmaids/pageboys that I didn't want at all, so I ignored the whole situation and she eventually had to un-ask them because I wasn't doing anything to include them. Wow, I'm a wuss.

[Charlotte91]

Thanks Ladies (still open to more suggestions!). I'm thinking Mumme's suggestion is the one I'll probably go with (coz I'm a sook!)

TFB- Her dress is already been bought and she's tried it on.... Gah, its this stupid fight between MIL and us (as of the last conversation I'm a stuck up, self righteous biatch who needs to get off my high horse....umm, full of 'poo', overprotective, she doesn't know if she's coming to the wedding because she doesn't approve of DP "marrying that".)

This is just so stressful....

[Babyluv]

That's awful, all I can say is hugs and I hope your wedding goes off without a hassle.

[Catastrophic]

Combine both of them...

Pour glass of wine...

Write status....

once message is recieved Delete toxic people out of your life (inc FB)

Have another wine

and enjoy YOUR day. xoxox

[sahbear]

I'd only add - *pour glass of wine first and drink.

Exactly that!

[Catastrophic]

or new FB status ... "Tag SIL since your so good at reporting back to MIL, could you please go and tell her that you are no longer my bridesmaid. thanks"

[Tinks]

or new FB status ... "Tag SIL since your so good at reporting back to MIL, could you please go and tell her that you are no longer my bridesmaid. thanks"

Either this or what Lime said.

[Cassius2]

*Pick up phone
*Dial SIL phone number
*Say hello, but do not enter into small talk
*"SIL, I am not very sad to have to say this, but I do not wish to have you standing up beside me on my wedding day. I don't feel you are a friend to me and so I will not have you in my wedding party. Thank you, but your services are no longer required. Good night."
*Replace reciver
*Pour glass of wine.

yep, yep and yep!

your wedding, no beating around the bush! go do it!

[Asparagus and Lemons]

Sounds like my sil too!
Write her a letter explain why she is NOT a bridesmaid.
Or
Write a status thanking all your beautiful bridesmaids for being the best, tagging them all, BUT her!

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Actually, forget about the bridesmaid bit. That isn't as important as the next bit.

Let her know she isn't invited to the wedding any more. Do either of you want such a horrid person there? Well then.

[mrscricket]

Some good suggestions here! If you really don't want her, make sure you do something about it - don't decide to have her in it just to keep the peace. 3 of my friends have all had bridesmaids that they weren't really sure about and all of them now no longer speak to the 'bad bridesmaids '. One of them even hates the girl so much she doesn't even like looking at her wedding photos

[Kaydee]

Try not to stress and just get it over with. Who knows, maybe she will be relieved!? It sounds like this might be the case. Good luck with it all!!
Also: I suggest you try to be as mature (and nice) about it as you can. You don't want to start a war, especially right before your wedding.

[BeautifulMadness]

id tell her stright out...